Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
