i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
