The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
