so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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