oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
