I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
