Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
