Having a random hookup so left but love u
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
