he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
