Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
