Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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