omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
