I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
