He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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