The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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