bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
