Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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