I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
