Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
