I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
