I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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