Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
