my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
