I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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