Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
