i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
