he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
