I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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