Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
