Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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