Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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