im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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