i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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