we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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