You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
