he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
