was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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