margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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