Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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