I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The adults are the big ones right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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