Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
