He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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