Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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