Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
