Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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