just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
