The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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