wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
did you just send me my own nude
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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