once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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