She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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