you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry about my life...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
